


The Magic Hamster has run out of magic.

by azurelunatic



Category: Cracked Phoenix, Dreamwidth - Fandom, Fandom RPF, Stargate SG-1 AU: Broken Wings
Genre: Gen, IRC, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-18
Updated: 2009-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-03 06:49:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azurelunatic/pseuds/azurelunatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mr. Balim drops into IRC to see how things are going. Things are about like normal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Magic Hamster has run out of magic.

**Author's Note:**

> "The Magic Hamster has run out of magic", from IRC, in a fictional place that is not quite here:
> 
>  
> 
> (Borrowing the extra context from [](http://farrow-marshall.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**farrow_marshall**](http://farrow-marshall.dreamwidth.org/): So everyone needed to blow off a bit of steam, and somehow this meant that it was time for a crossover, between That Nice Mr. Balim and #dw and the Cracked Phoenix universe (which doesn't matter much in this fic; just, Nick is a demon who has a casual friendship with Mr. Balim, and doesn't mind that Mr. Balim might have a few skeletons in his proverbial ~~sarcophagus~~ closet).)
> 
>  
> 
> **Title:** The Magic Hamster has run out of magic.
> 
> **Author:** [](http://azurelunatic.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**azurelunatic**](http://azurelunatic.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> **Fandom:** An AU of the Broken Wings AU of SG-1, the one that crosses over with the Cracked Phoenix universe and also crosses over with #dw. The Broken Wings AU belongs to [](http://synecdochic.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**synecdochic**](http://synecdochic.dreamwidth.org/) and [](http://ivorygates.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**ivorygates**](http://ivorygates.dreamwidth.org/); and whoever owns SG-1 owns SG-1. #dw belongs to [](http://mark.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**mark**](http://mark.dreamwidth.org/) and [](http://denise.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**denise**](http://denise.dreamwidth.org/). nagios is an instance of [nagios](http://nagios.sourceforge.net/docs/2_0/notifications.html), and this instance's notification text was entered by someone on crack. Cracked Phoenix, and therefore Nick, belong to me. INGVA belongs to THE WILD PLACES.
> 
> **Word Count:** ~400
> 
> **Warnings:** On. Crack. IRC. INGVA.
> 
> **Author's Note:** This is possibly only going to make sense to me, [](http://synecdochic.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**synecdochic**](http://synecdochic.dreamwidth.org/), and [](http://rb.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**rb**](http://rb.dreamwidth.org/). It ... may not even make sense to all of us. Thanks to [](http://synecdochic.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**synecdochic**](http://synecdochic.dreamwidth.org/) for correcting the IRC name that Mr. Balim was likely to show up as, and to [ravenblack.net's surreality generator](http://www.ravenblack.net/random/surreal/textonly.html), and to #dw for telling me how much crack I was on.
> 
> Nick is not Nick Ryves. Different Nick.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Dramatis Personae:
> 
> **nagios:** a Bot
> 
> **INGVA:** QUEEN OF THE WILD PLACES
> 
> **Nick:** Himself.
> 
> **Kevin Balim:** A businessman in Seattle.

> nagios: HEY MARK
> 
> nagios: HEY MARK
> 
> INGVA: YOU CAN SUE ME ALL YOU LIKE, BUT YOU WILL NEVER STOP MY HARMONICA.
> 
> nagios: HEY MARK
> 
> nagios: IS YOUR SERVER RUNNING
> 
> nagios: I CAN'T PING IT
> 
> INGVA: WHY DOESN'T THE MAGIC HAMSTER WORK ANYMORE?
> 
> nagios: I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW
> 
> *** Nick is now known as MagicHamster
> 
> MagicHamster: I AM ON STRIKE UNTIL WORKING CONDITIONS IMPROVE
> 
> INGVA: HAVE YOU SEEN MY COCK? IT WAS RUNNING FREE IN THE WILD PLACES BUT IT RAN A BIT TOO FAST.
> 
> MagicHamster: Haven't, sorry.
> 
> nagios: HEY MARK
> 
> nagios: SERVER'S UP
> 
> nagios: I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW
> 
> *** ElShaddai (kbalim@seattle.us.t-r.farrow-marshall.com) has joined
> 
> ElShaddai: Good evening.
> 
> MagicHamster: Greeblings &amp; hallucinations!
> 
> nagios: HEY MARK
> 
> nagios: SERVER'S STILL UP
> 
> ElShaddai: I hope all is well in the land of dreams.
> 
> MagicHamster: El: Server's back up; it went down for a bit.
> 
> *** MagicHamster is now known as Nick
> 
> ElShaddai: I did not notice that. Nick, a pleasure to see you, as always.
> 
> INGVA: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
> 
> Nick: Likewise. What brings you here?
> 
> ElShaddai: Curiosity, nothing more. And you?
> 
> Nick: Research.
> 
> Nick: General research, no specifics; my caseload is pretty light.
> 
> ElShaddai: I prefer to use open source when possible, as my technical team prefers it. Open source, or develop it in-house. External contractors are not always to be trusted.
> 
> INGVA: SEND ME AN INTERN, PREFERABLY WITH LOTS OF CREAM.
> 
> Nick: How's business?
> 
> ElShaddai: Ingva, if you want my intern, you may have him with my blessing.
> 
> ElShaddai: Nick, business is starting to look up again. Even in this economy. I have long believed that if I look after my people, they will look after me, and I have every confidence that this will see me through.
> 
> Nick: Good to hear. I can't complain either. People are looking for solutions to their problems, including unorthodox ones.
> 
> nagios: HEY MARK
> 
> nagios: HEY MARK
> 
> nagios: HEY MARK
> 
> nagios: IS THE ROOF ON FIRE WHERE YOU ARE
> 
> nagios: I CAN'T PING IT
> 
> INGVA: GERBILS ARE NOT ONLY FOR CURRY, MY FRIENDS. LEND ME YOUR EARS, YOUR EYES, YOUR CARDBOARD PAPER TOWEL TUBES.
> 
> ElShaddai: Nagios, I would think Mark would hear you the first time, if he's listening at all.
> 
> Nick: I haven't heard any word on the other matter, sadly, but if I do, I will certainly let you know.
> 
> nagios: I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW
> 
> INGVA: I THINK IT WOULD BE HARD TO BE MORE FLAMING THAN IS ALREADY THE CASE.

_(Nick: El, don't mind nagios, it's a bot.)_


End file.
